Love Gammi,'s column. Good advice. We could use her words of wisdom here in Mich. GVC velcrodoge@sbcglobal.net

August 16, 2008

Dear Gammi,

I have a problem and I’m really not sure how to handle this one, maybe you can help
me. I attended a dear friend’s wedding a few weeks ago out of town. I bought her a
beautiful china platter that I knew she wanted. Well today when I checked my mail
imagine my surprise when it came back to me. Her mother-in-law packaged it up and
returned it to me and asked me to exchange it. The problem is it was returned to me
broken. Now what am I supposed to do? It was fine when she opened it at her
wedding. She is away on her honeymoon now so I can’t phone and talk to her about
this and I’m sure she didn’t receive two of these platters. What should I do Gammi?

Upset and Baffled

Dear Upset and Baffled,

Well dear I would be baffled too. Especially if all was well at the gift opening.
Not only that, you didn’t see two of them. Well I would think you should wrap it up
and return it with a note saying it arrived broken and that you will contact the
bride when she gets home. I am a bit suspicious that the mother-in-law may have
broken it. Hmmm…as far as I know you can’t exchange broken merchandise anywhere.
I don’t think you are obligated to do anything about this as you had nothing to do with it breaking. Maybe you will put the mother-in-law on the hot seat right where she may belong. Good luck.

Gammi

July 19 2008

Dear Gammi,

June 2, 2008

May 10, 2008

Dear Gammi,

Dear Fred,

You know flowers are nice and so are the cards and other gifts but once a parent
gets older what they really want is you. Just take her out more often during the
rest of the year and spend time talking to her and I mean really talking to her and
be a good listener as well. She probably has a lot of things she wants to share
with you now about her life.

I know when it comes to my kids that is what I value the most. The fact that they
call me every Sunday for a chat is something I look forward to. They can’t always
get here to see me as they are in their mid 70’s now and they don’t like to drive
the distance. She’s your Mom and even though she is older now she is still your
Mom.

Gammi

March 31, 2008

Dear Gammi,

February 23, 2008

Dear Gammi,

I have watched people get testy about where they put their shoveled snow for years now especially once it starts to accumulate. We all look around for somewhere to put it. I have noticed that people suddenly become unconcerned about others they normally treat with respect. There's one thing I see going on around town that really raises my ire more than anything. That is when I witness people getting their driveways plowed and the fellow operating the truck takes the snow and pushes it across the road onto the growing snow bank in front of the neighbour's house across the street. Gammi, do you know if this is legal?

A concerned snow shoveler.

Dear Concerned,

To me that is a terrible thing to do to one's neighbours. Why should the fellow on the other side of the street have to contend with his own snow plus the snow from the people that live across the street. Good grief that would be aggravating. I would think if that wasn't an illegal act that it should be, if nothing else it's inconsiderate. One way to find out is to call city's help number 311 and see if they can give you that information. Lucky me I don't have to be bothered with snow removal anymore. I'm more concerned with other things now like am I going to get up in the morning. Good Luck.

Gammi

February 2, 2008

Dear Gammi

I'm wondering what your thoughts are in regards to the many people who use the
designated handicap parking spaces and don't have a parking permit to use those
spots. I find it so annoying when I see someone parked in them when they shouldn't
be. Have you any ideas how this problem could be prevented and brought under
control.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Oh my, a topic dear to my heart. I don't go out very often but when I do those who
take me out usually have a permit. Many times we have been unable to park in one of
those spots because they are occupied by as you say people who shouldn't be using
them. To tell the truth I don't have a very high opinion of those who abuse this
service. It is there for those who need it not for the general public.

I'm too old to do this or I would offer my services because it really raises my ire.
If I were in charge I would put a phone number that could be called to report the
drivers' licenses of cars that who are illegally parked in those spots. I would put
it on the signs and then again inside the business that are providing the service.

A phone call to someone could clarify whether the person should be parked there or
not by making a quick check on his or her license would handle that quick enough.

It is a simple solution to a big problem in this area. If they are not supposed to
be parked there issue a fine with the time and location the where offense took
place. I'm sure those who abuse this will think twice and would soon take care of
the problem.

It is real shame on our modern society that such measures really need to be taken
and we are living in a time where some people don't care abut being helpful to
others in need.

Gammi

December 17, 2007

Dear Gammi,

I was wondering what opinion you have in regards to the way the Christmas season is
observed now. I find it way too commercial and the true meaning of Christmas is
becoming obscured. I would also like to know how you feel about referring to our
most Christian celebration as a 'Holiday' rather that being 'Christmas' to be
politically correct in Canada now. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas Gammi, I look
forward to reading you in the New Year.

Befuddled

Dear Befuddled,

Oh boy what a timely question. You already know that I am at a rather ancient age
and years ago Christmas didn't bear any resemblance to what it is today. You are
right it is too commercial.

I seem to partially recall a quote from Will Rodgers and in it he described exactly
what we have going on today. He said something to the effect that " Christmas is a
time when people run around buying things they didn't want or need for people they
don't like with money they don't have." Sadly I have to admit that he was very wise
and was spot on about this.

Oh, while I am at it, there is no such thing as a Holiday Tree, it is a Christmas
tree. I have wondered why some people can keep the proper name attached to their
religious holidays and we Christians can't. I don't buy Christmas cards that only
give wishes of Happy Holiday on them anymore. I only wish others a Merry Christmas
as that is really what it is, the celebration of Christ's birthday. So now on the
envelopes of the cards I do send out I write for everyone to see "Merry Christmas."

It is a sad day that we have to fight to retain our customs and our culture and our
religious beliefs in our country of birth. I wish you and yours a very Merry
Christmas this year.

Gammi

November 25, 2007

Dear Gammi,

My wife and I are noticing that we are having a difficult time talking to our teenage daughter these days. We used to be so close and she would tell us what was going on in her world without batting an eye. Have you any suggestions about how we can get her to talk to us again?

Concerned Parent

Dear Parent,

Once your child hits the teenage stage a lot of things change. It is one of life's natural progressions so don't get too shook up. Teenagers are struggling to become their own person. One of the things on their agenda is to not depend so much on Mom and Dad like they did when they were younger even though sometimes they need us even more as they get older.

There are a few things that really turn teenagers off and one of them is the question "Why did you do that?" To them it sounds like you are accusing them of something. Try saying, "That doesn't sound like you." They probably already know they have made a mistake and don't need you to rub it in.

Pile on praise when they deserve it and here's a neat idea, drive them where they want to go even if it is inconvenient for you. Teenagers tend to talk more when they don't have to look the parent in the eye.

You know what, I know now why God planned that after a certain age my having kids days were over. I do keep in touch with my grandkids and yes my great grand kids and I've never seen problems like they have today. I don't envy parents trying to cope and worry about their children in today's world. I think I'll go back to my knitting now. Good Luck

Gammi

October 28, 2007

Dear Gammi.

Here comes Halloween and every year my nerves get even more shattered. I am an elderly senior living alone. I love the kids but I find that I have a bad case of shakes as the bewitching hour for trick or treaters approaches.

Gammi, I know I am not alone in my fear of opening my door to them. Some of them are an awful lot taller than I am and a heck of a lot stronger. Have you any suggestions what I can do? I do know and love a lot of the kids that live around my home. I feel bad that I feel this way.

Rita

Dear Rita,

Well dear don't feel alone because I have heard this problem expressed by a lot of older people. There are a lot more of us living in our homes alone now than ever before, myself included.

I can only tell you what I did when this nervousness hit me. I made up treat bags for the kids that I knew on my street. I phoned the Moms and had the kids drop by after school to pick up what I had for them. Often when I did phone some of my neighbours offered to come and sit with me and shell out for me Halloween night.

If you are still by yourself Halloween night just don't shell out. Turn off your outside light and sit and watch TV or keep yourself occupied somewhere in you home away from the front of the house.

In town the kids do respect when a house is in darkness and go on to the one with the outside lights on. Parents don't mind doing this either. This is a town for all of us and most people wouldn't want their mother or grandmother answering the door alone on Halloween either.

I'm sure the kids will love their early treats if you go that route. You can really spoil them and increase your popularity with them this way. So sit back and enjoy. Lately it seems there are less trick or treaters out there and they finish up their fun much earlier now.

Gammi

October 14, 2007

Dear Gammi,

My friends and I have a question that maybe you can help us with. Since we are now
in our mid-sixties we are breaking out in brown spots. They annoy all us and are
starting to upset a few of us, especially now that a few of us have found some of
them on our faces.

What can we do to get rid of them? Do you have any idea or any advice you can give
us to make them stop?

Edith

Dear Edith,

You know that expression "it goes with the turf ' well in our case it goes with our
age. I don't really think they can be stopped. From what I understand they are
hereditary and some of us will actually have more that other people do. There are
expensive creams out there that are cosmetic companies claim will work to fade them.
In my day we did the same thing with lemon juice.

This is the sort of aging problem that can be handled by a great sense of humor.
Think of them this way, if they all grow together you will be sporting one of those
expensive tans that are so "in" today. When bored you can join those dots and see
what picture you come up with. I can just hear that suggestion going over like a
lead balloon from here. Don't sweat it. Take all these changes with a grain of
salt and enjoy everyday that comes your way. Attitude and humor are my best
friends.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,

I am unable to make it to the wedding of the daughter of one of my acquaintances
from work. I was surprised that I actually received this invitation. Can you tell
me if I still owe the daughter a gift in this case?

Sue

Dear Sue,

Well I couldn't figure this one out on my own even though I have been to too many
weddings to remember in my lifetime. So I checked my etiquette books. Sue, two
etiquette experts I checked with say you are off the hook. It is not necessary for
you to send a present after all. One of them does suggest that a nice gesture may
be sending the couple a card wishing them well if you care to do so. You would
definitely be expected to bring a gift if you were attending but I know you know
that.

I can never understand myself why some families invite everyone they know to these
family celebrations. I could understand if you were a very close friend of the
parents but not if you are just an acquaintance. So there you go. This is the
proper thing to do under these circumstances.

Gammi

August 18, 2007

Dear Gammi,

A few weeks ago while driving through Sudbury I witnessed an incident I can't get off my mind. While stopped at a light near the fire station I witnessed a older fellow crossing the street get struck by a car and thrown onto it's hood before landing on the roadway. The victim picked himself up very quickly and continued to wobble on his way. All the driver did was roll down his window and ask if the man was alright.

Gammi what do you think should have been done in this case. Somehow I think a little more could have been done for the person who got hit.

Audrey

Dear Audrey,

My goodness me. I have senior friends who live in some apartments in that downtown area and they are always complaining that the lights to cross those streets are too short. I'm beginning to think there is something to this. I hate to think of them being flung through the air while trying to get to the other side of the street.

Now to answer your question. Well, I would think something more should have been done than not even bothering to get out of your car. No wonder you can't get it off your mind. Too bad someone didn't get the licence plate.

I bet the fellow who hit that man was relieved that he got up off the ground and went on his way even if the poor man was unsteady on his feet. My good Lord people are getting less concerned about their fellow man in our world aren't they! This is a pretty good example isn't it.

I guess I can only say to you that you should follow your conscience should something like this ever happen to you. I'm sure you would do the right thing and would have offered help and at least made sure he had no injuries. Wow, now this incident will be lingering on my mind now.

Gammi

August 9, 2007

Dear Gammi:

I had recently had enough. All summer long there’s been kids smoking on my property. They wait till just after dark and then huddle under my beautiful apples tree to light up. Come morning I find the ungodly mess they left behind. Burnt matches, candy bar wrappers, all sorts of trash. Finally I decided to do something about it.

I went out the other night and told them to get off of my lawn. I really laid into them, saying how I didn’t appreciate them using my yard as an ashtray and how they were too young to be smoking. Even went into the dangers of tobacco. You know, cancer, lung disease, yellow teeth, bad breath...the whole spiel.

Boy did I get a surprise. They listened! Not only that but they were polite about it. They butted out and apologized and left without any fuss.

So I just wanted to let you know that anyone out there who talks about the ‘kids in town’ and ‘how bad they are’ needs to do like me and reach out to them. That’s all these kids need. A firm but friendly hand. They aren’t bad. Not at all.

When I think of all the things these kids could be doing, like stealing or joining gangs or even drinking all night! Well smoking don’t seem near so bad in comparison.

P.S. When did the kids go back to smoking hand rolled cigarettes? Reminds me of my dad. He used to roll his own too. Course his didn’t smell funny like the ones today. Must be something in the paper.

Lois

Dear Lois:

It is heartening to hear someone who has something positive to say about young people today. They aren’t any worse now than they were way back in my day – and that’s going back a long ways! – there’s just more trouble for them to get into. And a lot less understanding and forgiveness too.

I could tell you stories about the things my brothers and I did back when we were young. Things that would turn your hair near as white as mine. But I won’t because I don’t want to give any one ideas.

Unfortunately I have to burst your bubble. Those hand rolled cigarettes that ‘smelled funny’ weren’t cigarettes at all. They were the marijuana. Those youngsters were polite, not out of respect, but because they were high on drugs.

Sad isn’t it, seeing young people doing stupid things like that to themselves. Not that I was an angel – far from it! – but when I was a girl there weren’t all these drugs around. I must admit that there was some. However, we weren’t aware just how harmful it was, or how addictive either. The fact is we didn’t know a lot of stuff back then, not like today. Young people today don’t have no excuse.

Not that they need an excuse. Being young is like that.

Being as old as I am I’ve learned that, despite appearances, things hardly ever really change. Youngsters do stupid things – that is just part of being a young. Adults are going to notice and disapprove. That is just the nature of being an adult.

Before you know it those same young people – the ones doing the stupid, dangerous things – will grow up and become adults, shaking their heads and clucking their tongues at the next generation. It happens all the time. I know, I’ve seen it happen. Shucks, I’ve done it myself.

Until then keep an eye out. If you see those youngsters out smoking the pot in you’re yard again turn the sprinkler on them or call the cops. It’s the only way they’ll ever learn.

Gammi

July 22, 2007

Dear Gammi,

I am still put off by this episode so I thought I would write and see what you think. A couple of months ago I was in the market to buy a fair sized tree to replace a few I had cut down.

I went to a nursery that is located just past Garson and just before the New Subury area.

Things were going along fine and delivery was possible, that was until we gave Capreol as our address then it was a no-go. The excuse given by the owner was he needed to keep down his operating costs.

I pointed out that we are part of Greater Sudbury now and we weren't as far out as he believed we were. That attitude was bad enough but then came the cruncher when he said, "Well I am delivering some trees to Hanmer next week maybe just maybe we can do something". I told him to forget it and walked away.

What do you think of this Gammi? I feel like an outcast in this new Greater Sudbury system and this is just one more example of how we are treated by people in the city.

George

Dear George,

What is wrong with that fellow? In some cases if he comes through the Radar Road way to deliver to Hanmer we are actually closer. Heaven forbid that he deliver the long way through Val Caron. That would surely eat up any profit he may have. Some people don't have a clue do they.

You know George there is a definite mental block out there against us the way I see this.

If I were you I wouldn't give that guy another nickel of your business. We need to support those who will support us.

I'm sort of glad that you brought this to the attention of the readers. Maybe we can make a real dent in his pocket by not doing business there anymore.

Good luck finding a tree somewhere else where service is the word of the day.

Gammi

May 26, 2007

Dear Gammi

The other day when I was walking in our park near the arena I witnessed something I was not pleased to see. A Regional truck drove right across the field and around the ball park to the arena to post a sign on the ball park fence. It irked me as there are signs posted to keep off the grass and here a city employee completely ignored it and did the complete opposite. Here, we the people of Capreol are trying to keep that lawn in as good a shape as we can and then others who are supposed to be caring for it with us don't care. What do you think I should do about this?

Chuck

Dear Chuck,

Well if that doesn't take the cake. I would have been irritated if I had seen this happen as well. I think you may have missed your chance to complain to those who are in charge when you didn't get the license plate number. However, by writing about it here others will become aware. I'm hoping if anyone else witnesses this happening again they will get that number down and then make a call to complain to the powers that be.

Gammi

April 1, 2007

Dear Gammi,

Last week I received one of my magazines in the mail and I was shocked at the condition it was in. I have just recently subscribed to it and it is rather expensive. It looked like it had been read and re-read. All dogged ear and used looking. Not only that I received it the last week in March instead of in February. The articles on Valentine’s Day didn’t do me any good. Come to think of it, I haven’t received my March issue yet either. Have you any advice to give me on how I can check into this problem? I have never been worried about my mail before but should I be now?

Anna

Dear Anna.

Oh my, that would certainly upset most people. I would wait and see what the condition of this months issue is. If it arrives late and in the same condition then you know you have a problem. I would check with the magazine to find out when they put it in the mail first of all and if you should be receiving it at the beginning of the month. If this were the case then I would talk to people at the post office to see what they think the problem is. If you are still not satisfied you should start writing letters to people who need to know about this. Good luck with this. There just may be a lot of others who are experiencing the same problem out there.

Gammi

February 21, 2007

Dear Gammi,

I have almost plowed into the back of the vehicle ahead of me on several different occasions at the corner of Radar Road and Cote Boulevard just before the railway tracks. People seem to mistake the flashing checkerboard ahead for a stop sign. Then for some unknown reason when they come to the huge stop sign on the other side of the tracks they drive right through. I can’t count the number of close calls for accidents have occurred at these corners. Is it me or are driver’s out there that are unaware of how to read traffic signs? Have you any suggestions of how this could be fixed?

Robert

Dear Robert,

Oh, I know those corners well. My guess is those people didn’t get 100% on their drivers’ exam and I think I know what questions they got wrong. Maybe if we switched the locations of each sign things would get a bit better, what do you think? I really don’t know what to say about this. Perhaps those of us who have cell phones could call in the license numbers of those who offend in this area. My true advice to the good drivers is to be very aware of what goes on at these corners and drive defensively in those areas. It’s questions like yours Bob that make me glad I’m no longer young enough to drive.

Gammi

January 13, 2007

Dear Gammi,

Is it my imagination or is it true that some older people are actually inconsiderate and have a mean streak? I witnessed a man purchasing a carpet runner in the Hanmer Shopping Center the other day. He was having a length of carpet runner measured on the floor outside the Hardware store. The sales person was using the tile squares as a source of measurement. Two older people came walking down the corridor as this was being done. One of them stepped aside but the older lady just continued to walk on the new carpet with her dirty boots on and didn't blink an eye. I thought I was seeing things. I'd appreciate your thoughts on this topic.

Brenda

Dear Brenda,

Oh dear, I'm sorry to say that what you saw could indeed be real fact. Just because people get older doesn't necessarily mean they become nicer. I have learned that if a person is nasty and inconsiderate when they are young, often they are the same people when they age. However, there are very few Grannies who will stick you with their knitting needles or Grandpas who will put out their foot in a nursing home to see who they can trip. Just keep your eyes open for them and you will be fine.

Gammi

December 16, 2006

Dear Gammi,

I am having an awful time coming up with a great Christmas gift for my parents. Now that they are older they seem to have everything they could need or want. Could you give me some ideas?

Brenda

Dear Brenda,

We are all kids at Christmas and we never stop wanting something under that tree. Maybe they are at the stage where they would like to modernize some of their old appliances or replace things. If not how about giving them a gift certificate to a play or a nice dinner at their favourite restaurant.

Parents all love to have some time to spend with their children. Especially when we get older. My problem is my kids are too old now to come and visit me and their health isn't the greatest as they are all in their seventies. I would love to see them more. No matter what age a child is they are still your children so how about doing something special with them. An IOU to do something special all paid for by you may be something you could consider. Merry Christmas

Gammi

December 9, 2006

Dear Gammi,

I am having a hard time finding the right Christmas card to send this year. It seems that the word Christmas is missing. There are many with the words Happy Holidays and Season's Greetings but where is the word "Christmas" hiding. The birth of the baby Jesus is what Christmas is really about. Where can I find this type of card today?

Mabel

Dear Mabel,

I sympathize with you on this one. The true meaning of Christmas seems to be overlooked on most of the Christmas cards we have to choose from now. After all baby Jesus is the reason for the season. It seems that the powers that be in this country don't want to offend others' sensibilities in our country. I would suggest that you would be able to find beautiful religious cards for sale at any of the outlets that sell religious articles in our area. If you don't like the fact that the word Merry Christmas is not on the card that you have chosen add it yourself. Better still; put it on the envelope as well.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,

My wife and I are shocked at the price of the toys that our kids have on their Christmas list this year. We may have to take out a mortgage on our house if we get them what they want at the prices they are asking. I'm afraid that my kids will be disappointed in Santa this year. We hate to end the magic of their childhood Christmas so early. Do you have any suggestions for us?

Fred

Dear Fred,

Why be afraid of something that is spiraling out of control. We all need to hit the commercialism of Christmas in the pocket. A good dose of reality today wouldn't hurt any of us including the children. They, my friend, understand a lot more than we think they do. We need to stop playing into the hands of big business.

In my day we only found one thing under the tree from Santa and we were happy. Not only that, we had to deserve it. I did see my brother find a lump of coal in his stocking one year while my sister and I got an orange and some candy.

I had a young family once upon a time and my children always found the thing they wanted most under the tree. We managed that one gift then we gave them two smaller ones and they were happy. We explained to them that there were three wise men not ten and that Christmas was about Christ. So each Christmas they found three gifts from St. Nicholas under the tree. Why don't you try it and make it a tradition. It worked for us and cut the cost back. Remember everything is relative; wages back then weren't the same as they are today so I understand your struggle. Good Luck.

Gammi

November 18, 2006

Dear Gammi.

We had our first real snowfall here a week ago and already we are having problems. The plow came down the middle of the street and only made two passes on our wide street. My problem however is with the fellow who plows out our neighbor's driveway. He emptied their driveway and pushed a bit up onto their property. The rest of it was pushed down to the edge of our lot line and left on the street.

My poor husband had to go and push it up off the street with his snowblower. If it was left where it was to freeze or worse still be pushed into plugging our driveway it will be so unfair for us. Our driveway will be so full this winter it could probably even wreck our snowblower.

We really like our neighbors a lot. They even commented that they didn't like what he did with their snow. I know it is still early in the year but do you have any advice as to how we can handle this problem.

Trish

Dear Trish,

You know I got a phone call from someone this morning with the same problem. They are afraid that their driveway will be packed tight with snow too. Not only that but they will have huge snowbanks in front of their house from their own snow plus others. I have talked to a few people about this and if what I have heard is true I'm afraid that I only have bad news for you and others like you. The plowing of our streets in town has been contracted out by the city for this winter. It has been contracted out to only make two passes on the residential streets. If this is true by the end of the winter we will have a cow path with very little passing room on most streets.

My advice is take a wait and see attitude. If it continues to happen you will have to talk to someone about this. I would start with talking to the fellow plowing the driveways. Keep me posted on your progress. I have an inkling that we are going to have a lot of snow to deal with this winter if my achy knee is any indication.

Good Luck

Gammi

October 14, 2006

Dear Gammi,

Every year at Halloween we have a major problem at our house. Our dog is petrified when the kids come knocking on the door. It is sad to see him get so bent out of shape. Have you got any suggestions that might help us out with the dog? You wouldn't believe the commotion and the panting and slobbering that goes on. I enjoy having the kids come but have been considering leaving the house till the trick and treating is over for the night.

Ruth

Dear Ruth,

I'm sure you are not alone having a frightened dog that night. I think I would be tempted to just go out and save yourself a whole lot of stress too. My husband and I had a dog years ago who reacted much the same. Poor old Butch, we didn't know what to do about him either. Finally we decided to tie him to the kitchen table away from the front door. Well he dragged the table across the kitchen and headed to the back door. I guess dogs get adrenaline rushes when they are scared just as we humans do.

Finally my hubby tried taking Butch down to the basement for whatever time it took for the kid to stop banging on the door. Now I don't know what they did down there. They both could have been having a beer for all I know. The dog sure was calmer after we did that. Maybe that might work for your family. I don't mean give the dog a beer you know, I mean hide in the basement with him.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,

I have noticed every year at Halloween that the trick or treaters look an awful lot like grown adults towards the end of the evening. Do you think it's safe for me to answer the door to the last of these night stragglers as I live alone?

Maude

Dear Maude,

That is a personal thing. Only answer if you are comfortable and you have a baseball bat nearby your door. On the other hand those stragglers just might be me and my friends going door-to-door out there for a few hours. It gives us enough snacks to last till Christmas rolls around and they are free.

Gammi

September 17

Dear Gammi,

I have a friend who often forwards to me private e-mails that she receives from the man she is dating and her son in college, among others without their knowledge. I feel it's an invasion of their privacy and I worry that she does the same with my e-mails. Should I tell her how I feel or just stop sending her e-mails with information I want to keep private?

Helen

Dear Helen,

I don't know about you but I think "private e-mail" is a bit of an "oxymoron". I'm sure most people with a computer have learned this the hard way. Not everyone has learned that forwarding private e-mails is not a good thing to do. You're so right your friend should not be circulating yours or anyone else's. I sure wouldn't be telling her anything you don't want spread around.

As far as telling her how you feel why not suggest that you are looking forward to meeting her son when he is home from school so you can tell him you feel as though you know very well already from all his e-mails. I think you will get a head jerk out of that remark. Good luck.

Gammi

July 8, 2006

Dear Gammi,

I have a friend who never returns my phone calls. I find this very irritating. She just brushes me off whenever I complain to her about this. Isn't it a rule of etiquette that you return phone calls that are made to you?

Margaret

Dear Margaret,

Oh I love my phone, especially at this age. It is my lifeline some days but not everyone feels this way and you have to understand this. You are right the calls should be returned. The question is when do they have to be returned.

There are a few things to consider in your situation that could be important. What time you call and how often? There is nothing more irritating than getting a call first thing in the morning when you haven't even had a chance to have your first cup of coffee. Your friend may be the kind of person who dislikes talking on the phone. She may love to talk to you face to face but is not crazy about talking on the phone. Do you just call to chat?

There are messages that need to be answered right away. Such as "Bobby was just taken to the hospital" or "can you pick up my daughter today after school?" Then some messages can be answered within a few days, such as a response to an invite to dinner for the following week. Last but not least that call that starts with "Hi, it is me again" that comes through just as your friend is getting ready to do that job she's been putting off all day. You know you just may not get the response you wanted in that case.

It's true that phone calls should be returned but perhaps you just aren't considering your friend enough or being as patient as you should be.

Gammi

June 17, 2006

Dear Gammi,*

I am going to be a bridesmaid for a friend who is going to be married in a few months. The other day she asked me what I thought of the bridesmaid's dresses that she ordered for us. I think they are awful and very unflattering to all of us. What should I do, tell her the truth?

Susan

Dear Susan,

Well to my mind it is too late to say anything now that they have been ordered. Why ruin her day by telling her this now. Be the friend that I think you are and keep it to yourself. You wouldn't want her walking down the aisle knowing how you feel about the dress at this late date.

However, I think that the dresses should have been discussed right when she asked you to stand with her. You should have been consulted or at least in on the shopping trip when they were chosen. She was wrong not to have that kind of consideration for you all. Try to do your best on her day to not let this issue spoil the wedding for her or for you. I'm sure some day over a cup of tea you may be able to talk about this and laugh.

Gammi

May 27. 2006

Dear Gammi,

As you know the summer heat affects all of us but none so much as my furry friend, our dog. We like to take him north of town to go for a swim. However, after the horror story I heard last year I am a bit scared to. One of our friend's dog, Buddy, almost lost his paw when he was badly cut by a broken bottle that was thrown into the lake. I'm afraid my dog and others will have the same thing happen to them this summer. Any ideas what I can do about this problem.

Bob

Dear Bob,

I can understand your concern. That seems such a cruel to do to any animal domesticated or wild. It makes you wonder what type of person would do such an inconsiderate thing, doesn't it? I think that you need to tell as many people as you can about what happened to your friend's dog so they will be aware there is a problem. Check out the area that they swim in each time you take them there just in case if that is possible. Don't forget to wear work boots as you do it. Maybe your writing on here about this is a good start. Maybe the culprits will think twice about what they are doing when they pitch broken bottles into the lake, that is if they can read.

Gammi

May 6, 2006

Dear Gammi,

Dear Gammi,

We have new neighbours who have just moved in behind our home. I love the fact that this family has children. However, we have a problem. The young lad and his friend have taken to practicing their golf shot on the back deck and hitting the golf balls over the fence into our back yard. We were hoping they would quit or the parents would say something to them about going into the near-by field to practice instead of into our backyard. However, we returned home after a few weeks away and we picked up over dozen golf balls. Some were very near our patio and uncomfortably close to our newly installed windows. What should we do about this?

Lyle

Dear Lyle,

Well that’s a new one for me. My first thought was that it was a good chance to practice your golf swing and return the balls in the manner they were received. I used to believe in hitting problems head on but over the years I’ve learned to give things a second thought. So on second thought, you need to return the golf balls to the parents and explain where they were found. Don’t forget to mention that you were pleased to see that kids so young are interested in the sport, letting them know you have seen them doing this.

Most important of all mention that you just installed new windows and that you live in your back yard all summer long with your pets. They may get the hint that you don’t want to be knocked out while mowing the lawn or worse. Hopefully they will take the hint and have the kids play golf in that field you mentioned. You know Lyle, handled the right way, this problem could be a great way for you to meet your new neighbours. Good luck with this.

Gammi

By the way Michigan thanks for the positive comments. You made my day.

April 8, 2006

Dear Gammi,

Now that spring is finally on its way I find that I am getting edgy. One of our neighbours is constantly borrowing anything and everything we own.

Once summer gets here the problem gets worse. They are constantly in need of rakes, shovels, and tools for car repair. Gammi, they have even borrowed nails and clothespins. We know they are good people at heart but they are so cheap they won't buy these things for themselves. My husband is a nice guy and I know he won't say anything even though this really bugs him. What should I do?

Geraldine

Dear Geraldine,

Wow you really have a problem there don't you. Those kinds of people are always around. I remember Fred and I going through something very much the same. I'm afraid you are going to have to be the one to put a stop to this.

The next time he or she comes to the door to borrow your things give them your Canadian Tire Catalogue instead. Just tell them that anything they want can be found in that store but be prepared for the cold shoulder from then on. However, you will always know where everything you worked so hard to own is. Good Luck

Gammi

March 4, 2006

Dear Gammi,
I have heard that you enjoy watching hockey games. What did you think of our men's Olympic hockey team and their loss?

George

Dear George,
Well my friend it isn't the first loss the Canadians have suffered at the Olympics. I was born in 1905 and I have to tell you I have been around for a lot of the Olympic games.

I was 15 the first time a team played for Canada in 1920 and it was in the Olympic Summer games. Figure that one out. Canada easily won that one. In 1924 in the first Winter Olympic games in France they outscored their opponents 110-3.

However, they didn't always win. The first time they lost a medal it was to Britain in 1936. Could it have something to do with the fact that 12 of the players who played for Britain were from Canada? Now doesn't that sound a tad familiar?

Once Russia entered the games in 1956 they won more medals than any other country and yep, the Gold for hockey won by them as well. As a matter of fact Canada came third that year. Even the Americans beat them. The Russians dominated International hockey for 30 years after that because they used what we considered professional players.

In 1988 the Olympic committee finally allowed professionals to play. However at that time the NHL players couldn't participate because of their schedules but as you know now the NHL shuts down to allow them to play.

When Canada won gold in 2002 it was the first time since 1952, a 50-year dry spell. So am I surprised they lost this year? Not really. I have loved hockey long enough to know that it is a team sport and you are asking for trouble when you just throw a team together that doesn't know how to work together. Sorry for such a long-winded answer here but at my age I feel like I am part of history not just an observer.

Gammi

Feb. 5, 2006

Dear Gammi,

The other day when I was shopping for an item I ended up getting the kind of service that I don't appreciate. The young man who arrived to wait on me was anything but polite and considerate. This hasn't been the only experience I have had similar to this one.

What is going on here Gammi? I am a quiet and mannerful person when dealing with others. I am concerned that I do not always get that attitude returned to me. Is it because I am getting older or is it because they are younger and don't have much life experience yet? Have you ever experienced this and if so how did you handle it?

Joan

Dear Joan,

Oh yes I had quite a situation one time when my husband and I went shopping for a new toilet. I ended up walking out of the store. I was so upset I told my husband to get some wood and shovel so we could build a good old-fashioned reliable outhouse instead.

I think you are on the right track when you say that the young man probably just lacked life experience. I tend to believe there is good in everyone. Some young people don't realize yet that someday they will walk in our shoes. However, I also know many young people who are respectful, polite and courteous towards me.... and no they are not standing to inherit! So be careful not to group them all into one category. Good luck with your future shopping trips.

Gammi

January 14, 2006

Dear Gammi,

I have noticed that there is a decrease in activity and the number of courses being offered by our Millennium Center here in Capreol. Do you have any idea why this is happening? There are a lot of people in town who are wondering why this is. It was such a hub of activity at one time and now it is not. I would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Paul

Dear Paul,

Now this question gives us all something to chew on. I have been around a long while and this lack of activity is something to be worried over. I've got a bad feeling about this whole situation.

I happen to know our Millennium Center is not allowed to advertise locally. It is forced to use the Sudbury Recreation Guide and that is the only advertisement it gets.

Does this make any sense? Of course not! People in Capreol are not all that interested in what goes on in Sudbury. That paper goes into the garbage pretty quick where I live -- I for one do not live in Sudbury, and despite political chicanery and amalgamation never will!

At one time there were ten instructors working at our Centre, but that's been cut and cut -- until now we have just one or two. Courses are cancelled if arbitrary numbers are not met, numbers determined in Sudbury.

Our neighbours in the Valley, for the most part, don't even know we offer courses at the Millennium Center. Many said they would have registered had they known. My guess is there are a substantial number of Sudbury Recreation Guides in the Blue Boxes in the Valley.

I say 'Use it or Lose it'

Gammi

December 18, 2005

Dear Gammi,

My grandchildren wrote to Santa asking for a puppy so I went out and got one, that is with their parents blessing. He's the cutest little fellow. Only now that I have had him for a while I don't think I can give him up even for my grandkids. So whose heart should I break, theirs or mine?

Rose

Dear Rose,

Why not just get another puppy for the kids. If they haven't seen the pup get another one for them. Dogs love to have friends too. They will grow up together and be great friends. There are plenty of pups out there that need a good loving home. If I could keep up with one I would have one too.

Merry Christmas

Gammi

December 5, 2005

Dear Gammi,

Ever year I get the same gifts. I appreciate all my family does for me; don't get me wrong. I would just like to have something under the tree that I really want to be there. Have you any suggestions so that this will actually happen?

Bob

Dear Bob,

Well I sure do and I understand how you feel. I had the same problem every Christmas. I ended that problem the year my husband bought me a shovel. That was the last straw for me.

After that I got myself an envelope and a secret place to put it. Every month I would slip a ten-dollar bill or more if I could manage from what I saved out of my grocery money.

When Christmas came the following year I had enough money saved to get myself something really nice. More importantly I got something that I wanted. I would wrap it up and put it under the tree and sign the card "To Gammi, Love Gammi".

Never again was I disappointed on Christmas morning. This happens to be the one tradition that I enjoy and is a big part of my Christmas even today. An old lady can only have so many nightgowns. Have a great time shopping Bob.

Gammi

November 19, 2005

Dear Gammi,

It is getting close to that time of year when we get together to have a bit of a celebration of Christmas at our work place. The problem is that one of our fellow workers is like a bird, cheap, cheap, cheap. Each year everyone ticks off the item they are going to bring to our Christmas lunch buffet on the list that hangs in our lunchroom. Every year this person contributes nothing. He has been an employee a lot longer than I have and has always managed to get off scot-free. He is the one who seems to enjoy it the most because he constantly refills his plate. Have you any idea how we can make this person contribute like the rest of us?

Mark

Dear Mark,

Oh, so you have one of those in your office do you. Well there is always someone like that in every group Mark. Maybe you had better get creative on how you plan this year's get together.

If this problem has been noticed and irritating more than one person you should have a lot of support in pulling this off. How about planning what you will have at this buffet and make a list of everything. You then assign an item for each co-worker to bring. Make sure he doesn't get to bring the buns or something simple. He owes you and your co-workers something more than that. Delegate, no choices here.

Just in case he may still not produce make it known that a consequence goes out to those who don't contribute this year. How about, whoever doesn't contribute has to tell the boss that he has bad breath. That ought to do it. I'm sure you get the idea. Get your thinking cap on and I'm sure you will come up with some great ideas that you never thought of before. Good Luck Mark and have a great party.

Gammi

November 6, 2005

Dear Gammi,

Halloween is over for another year but my four-year-old is still haunting me. He refuses to give up his Spiderman costume. He wants to wear it everyday and everywhere we go. He even wears it instead of his pajamas at night. We feel we have to let him because he gets so upset when we try to take it away from him. He sat in front of the washer and dryer patiently waiting to get it back. I don't want to scar this child for life by doing the wrong thing. Gammi what should I do? Should I go for professional help?

Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,

Well, well isn't that cute. Reminds me of one of my boys when he wouldn't give up his favourite pair of red rubber boots that no longer fit him. He slept in them for 4 weeks before he would even consider his new ones.

Sometimes kids attach themselves to items for whatever reason. We all know about the little fellow Linus with his blanket in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Classic case. Then there is Mertyle Brown who wears that stupid hat year after year. You know the one that came off Noah's Ark. Just thought I would throw her a hint.

Stop reacting so emotionally to his outfit and he will soon grow tired of it as well. Just put his clothes on over it when you go out or don't even bother. It really isn't a big deal.

People will think, "what a cute kid" or "would you look at that sweet child." I know what I would think, I'd wish I was a kid again. Maybe you will get kudos for being a very patient mother. Who cares what others think anyhow. It's really a waste of time going there.

Jennifer, I have seen some adults who dress really funny and look pretty bad and they are still out there walking around in public.

Gammi

October 9, 2005

Dear Gammi,
Last week when my husband was away on a job I backed his new car into the tree beside the driveway. I smashed the right tail light all to bits. I got it fixed at the garage and it looks like new. Should I tell Fred what I did?

Gertrude

Dear Gertrude,
Tell Fred what?
Gammi

Dear Gammi,
I am in my fifties and bored out of my mind now that my nest has emptied. I've been considering going back to University and getting that degree that I have always wanted. Do you think I'm too old or should I go ahead and do this?
Mary

Dear Mary,
Too old as compared to who? Me! You're never too old to learn. Heck, the other day I learned from a TV cooking show it is a waste of time to baste a turkey.

Going to University will help to keep those synapses and dendrites snapping. It will also keep you young. Hmmm, now you've inspired me with your idea. I bet at my age they would give me a tuition discount just for making it to the class. Good Luck Mary.
Gammi.

September 17, 2005

Dear Gammi,
I have read your answers to the letters you received with interest and very often a smile. Gammi you have such a lot of life in you for your age. I would love to know what you think the secret to your longevity is. Maybe then I could put it to work in my own life. Would you mind sharing it with us all.

Maude

Dear Maude,
It's simple, I don't eat hot dogs.

Gammi.

Dear Gammi,
I just got a big raise at work and bought myself a new truck. I work hard, I figure I deserve it. My girlfriend is royally p-o'ed. She says I should have put the money away for a rainy day. What she means is I should have started a nest egg -- but I am far from ready to settle down. Is there a way to convey my need for flying free without having her drop out of my life?

Rob

Dear Rob,

Boy are you in trouble. Sounds to me like you're hooked, caught and about to be landed -- and you don't even know it yet!

The sad fact is when your girl starts planning for a rainy day you better be ready to start shopping for a wedding ring. It's either marriage or bust in her mind at this point.

You know what you need to do. You said it in your letter "Is there a way to...fly free without...her dropping out of my life?" The answer is no. There is no having it both ways. You need to choose. Fly free all alone or clip your wings and settle down with your girl. Sure it's sometimes fun to play hard to get, but it can be fun getting caught too!

Gammi

Dear Gammi,

Whenever my family gets together we end up arguing. No matter how hard we try it always turns into a shouting match. Is there a way to stop this?

Tony

Dear Tony,

I don't know what to say...a family that argues? I never heard of the like!

Listen to me -- All families fight. That's what family is for. Who else would put up with being yelled at all holiday weekend and still come back next holiday for more?

There are ways to prevent fighting. Don't talk to each other, or don't see each other. Having lots of food works...it's hard to yell when eating home-made pie!

My advice is simple, just get used to it. Or do what I do and turn off your hearing aid.

Gammi

Dear Gammi:

My neighbour's grass is greener than green despite the heat and water ban. My own is browner than, well brown. I think she's been watering illegally -- should I turn her in?

Thanks,

Ned

Dear Ned:

Yes, you should absolutely turn that scofflaw in. It's people like that who bring about the fall of society. Selfishness is all that is, pure and simple...wait, you're not Ned from next door? 32 Pine Street? In that case, no don't turn the neighbour in - she's just a harmless old lady who's not hurting anyone!

Gammi

I seem to have an issue with a columnist on a website. This person's articles are rude and extremely opinionated. I do believe that everyone has the right to their own opinion but this persons are sometimes very offensive and rude.

This certain person will not show their face and who knows if its even there real name. How can we get this person to own up to their articles. I feel if this person has such a strong opinion on issues they should come forth and let us know who they really are.

Frustrated...

Dear Frustrated

Well dear, isn't this an interesting pickle. I had to clean my glasses and read your problem twice to make sure I had the right of it. The eyes aren't what they use to be.

Here we are with you asking an opinionated columnist about another opinionated columnist, complaining about anonymity while remaining anonymous. I think I'm getting a headache!

The way I figure it, and it only took me 90 years, is that you, and only you are in control of what you read. If you find some self-serving, opinionated unknown annoying, well ignore him. Most blow-hards hate that, if you know what I mean.

Look, some of us are put on this earth to be peaceful and kind, while others are just plain nasty. Whether they are right or wrong doesn't even come into it. I agree wholeheartedly with you that there is a way to get one's point across without being ignorant. But shrill annoying voices are needed sometimes too -- even if only to show how not to do it.

The question is this; if you need the aggravation in you life, then you definitely should read what this person has to write. If you want a more stress-free existence don't read him or her. It's a free world - you're free to be critical or crass, free to be concerned or a complainer...heck, you're even free to be a columnist yourself.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,

My grandkids love my homemade pies, the problem it was my neighbour who made them. Now she has passed on and my grandkids are coming for a visit. What do I do?

Maude

Dear Maude,

Seems to me you are in a pickle. You could tell the truth--that you can't bake--or you could do the smart thing and pick up a couple of store bought pies and slip them into a warm oven just before the little ones show up. I mean it's up to you but if you want to shatter their precious childhood illusions, well, go with the truth.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,

My four year old picks his nose constantly. What can I do to get him to stop doing this? It is so embarrassing.

Wendy

Dear Wendy,

Well you certainly have a sticky problem. In my day a good swat every time I caught my kids doing something they shouldn't, used to do the trick. Nowadays you have to be more inventive in teaching kids or you get yourself into a heap of trouble with people who don't even live in your house. I know this sounds cruel but how about putting tape on his fingers that will make them too big to fit in his nose. If you do this, I would like to know if it worked.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,
At our camp, the couple in the trailer down from us moved their campfire ring upwind from our trailer. We have heard that they want our spot and would love to see us move out and this is not something we want to do.
They light up their fire whenever there is a strong wind blowing in our direction. The smoke is just awful as we try to enjoy our camp. They even burn smelly garbage. Do you think they are trying to smoke us out as well as stink us out?

Alfred

Dear Alfred,
Seems to me you got the right idea about your neighbours. Still, look on the bright side, I bet you haven't got many mosquitoes around your place!
Now you have got two choices: put up with it or put a stop to it. A bucket of water on the fire would be my choice--but then you may be exchanging one problem with another - so pick which one you want to deal with.

Gammi

Dear Gammi,
My best friend embarrasses me when we go out for lunch together. She chews her food with her mouth open, smacks her lips and then burps when she is finished eating. The only good thing is she pays for lunch. How can I tell her how embarrassed I am without hurting her feelings.
Trish

Dear Trish,
The way I see things you only got the one choice, if you can't tell her the truth and don't want no hurt feelings, simply stop going out to lunch with her.

If you can't come up with an excuse why there are no more lunch dates, well then try making a spectacle of yourself next time your out, a real big one -- soon enough she'll be the one making up excuses.

A bit of advice dear, if she's that bad in public, you might want to avoid any invitation to eat at her place. That would probably be a real experience.

Gammi